Trust

I often wonder if I walk around with a sign on my forehead that says,"go ahead and play me because I'll give you every opportunity to do so". It's not that I'm stupid and naive, I'd say, just more so trusting. I want to trust that you honestly care for me the way you claim to. And I honestly want to believe all the things you whisper to me late at night. When you tell me about how much you love me and how you couldn't imagine your life without me in it. I want to believe that I wasn't just some connivence in your life. I want to believe. Want to. But once again, I'm shown that I shouldn't. You see, I only want to believe these thing because I want to connive myself that things are finally different and that for once I might actually have a shot at love. But I can't trust that you'll want the same thing as me. I can't trust that you'll have the same decency as me. Or the same capability to love. I can't trust you.