Slam Poetry - Standing Strong and Tall

I've always been the strong one,

In my family I was the one that would never budge.

With friends I was always there to back them up.

At work, I was the one unafraid to speak my mind.

No matter where I found myself, I always put on this front.

It didn't matter what I was going through, or who I was with,

The things I felt or the thoughts racing in my mind remained there.

I would never unleash these fears and hurt with another.

Didn't matter how long we knew each other or how close we were

I always had to remain a few feet away emotionally.

People saw this as a strength, saying things like;

"How are you always so strong and put together"

"Don't you ever get tired and just want to let off steam?"

And of course I do, but my mind and body have been trained

Hide the pain, mask the hurt and paint that smile on your face

There's always someone worse off then you

Someone that has spoken out, yet got no help in return.

I never want someone to feel sorry for me,

Or feel as though they have to be cautious with me

Because I am strong, I have gone through a lot yet I'm still here.

I'm still standing, strong and tall, awaiting the next obstacle.

I do not fear the hardships I have faced or the ones still to come.

What I fear is the day I am too beat down

By the thoughts in my head, to get up and continue this fight.

But I am trying, please don't get me wrong.

I try day in and day out to open myself to others.

Yet with every person I let in, I fear they will use it against me.

I know it's a shame to fear something so silly

But isn't that what people do?

Find your darkest secrets to use them against you?

Some of my secrets are so dark I'm not sure if even I could find them.

Instead they sit there in the back of my mind waiting...

Waiting for me to fall, yet I still stand tall.